Who are You?

With all due respect to the Who, the question arose for me while thinking about the Angry Porfessor's post about sexism. If you are a certain way then how much should you change to fit in, be successful, or make friends. Should a woman become more pushy at the risk of being called a b*tch? Should Democrats become more sleazy to win elections? What changes should I make in myself? Should I become more serious at the risk of being a killjoy? Should I be more focussed at the risk of being less open to serendipity? Should I be less abrasive at the risk of suffering fools?

I really don't know the answers for myself so I understand those who think the world can be cruel and imperfect, but I don't know whether when the right answer is to try to change the world or when the right thing to do is to change yourself.